FINDING SOUL RIVER

“I started hooting and hollering, and that was when I started feeling this happiness, this moment of happiness. It was like I'd been dead, and it was this jolt of excitement making me feel alive. It made me laugh, it made me smile, it made me be in the present.” - Chad Brown

In that moment, Chad Brown, a U.S. Navy veteran, was fly fishing for the very first time and he had a jack salmon on his line. The tug of the fish pulled him out of a zombie-like haze induced by twelve different medications. The meds had been prescribed to deal with the effects of PTSD – nightmares, hallucinations, anxiety attacks, flashbacks – a pill for everything. Chad had become medicated to the point that he ceased to feel anything at all.

“I couldn’t feel the air. I couldn’t feel the grass. I couldn’t even smile — I’d forgotten how to smile. And so, when I threw it out there and cast into a jack salmon, that was probably the most joyful and biggest day of my life. I felt the ooze of all this medication seeping out of my pores. It was like my joy, my happiness, became this medicine off of the experience that I was having in nature on the river.” - Chad Brown

That moment was thirteen years ago and it was a pivot point in Chad’s life. Afterward, he immersed himself in the fly fishing community and weaned himself off prescription meds. He sought healing on the river. And, after two years on a waitlist, he acquired his service dog Axe. Axe assists Chad in his journey by helping him stay grounded and present when the nightmares come or when life becomes too much.

Drawing on the strength he found in nature, Chad re-entered society and discovered his life’s purpose in helping others find this same connection to the outdoors and the healing it provides. Chad founded the nonprofit Soul River, Inc. to share the healing power of nature, rivers, and fly fishing with veterans and inner-city youth. With Chad at its helm and Axe by Chad’s side, Soul River helps its participants discover their own purpose, their own “Soul River,” while learning about leadership, conservation, and community.

Applying his military background to his work at Soul River, Chad developed a program that takes “warriors” – at-risk youth and veterans – and “deploys” them into a “warzone” – an environment where fresh water, land, wildlife, or indigenous cultures are threatened. He works with conservation groups and Native American communities to determine which areas across the United States could use their attention and advocacy. Often, the locations are remote and extreme – such as the Arctic. Chad and Axe go on every deployment.

The goals of the deployment programs are layered. For the youth and the veterans, the experience helps them find their own “Soul River” – their purpose, passion, their connection to the outdoors and to each other. It’s an opportunity to learn about leadership, indigenous cross cultural relations, environmental advocacy, congressional exposure and training, relationship-building, and being integral to a community. Then, there’s a conservation and advocacy component, where the group learns about the environment to which they’re deployed, the specific threats it faces, and how they can be a force for good – both on the ground and after they return home.

In June 2019, Chad, Axe, and 10 veterans and youth embarked on Soul River’s fourth deployment to the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. They spent time learning from the Gwich’in people – about the Arctic, what the region means for Gwich’in culture and way of life, and how oil and gas development and climate change are impacting Arctic inhabitants – including the indigenous communities as well as caribou, muskoxen, fish, migrating birds, and other wildlife.

In exchange for these teachings, the Soul River group gives back to the Gwich’in – in whatever way they need. On this trip, it was re-building a community garden. Everyone comes together on the project, learning the value of working together and collaborating for the good of all.

Upon returning from deployment, the work is just beginning. Soul River sets up advocacy opportunities, meetings, and visits to Congressional offices so that youth and veterans can share their learnings and practice their presentation and leadership skills – and keep the conversation efforts moving forward.

For Chad and Axe, it’s a busy, nonstop cycle of planning, preparation, meetings, deployment, advocacy, and so on. The pair goes on about six deployments each year, from the Arctic to the Everglades to rivers in their Oregon backyard. And yet, Chad’s PTSD has not gone away. The nightmares and debilitating anxiety cannot be “cured.” This is where he incorporates coping mechanisms like breathing exercises, self-care, and going to the river. And, this is where he relies on Axe.

“There are times when I’m not able to get to the river, when I’m weaving in and out of meetings and moving through the city. Axe gives me that support, for me to be able to function. When I have Axe there and he looks up at me, he’s not showing an ounce of fear. He’s strong. He’s my rock. It’s almost like he’s saying, ‘Let’s go. Let’s do this.’ And so, there’s this place where I transfer my fear and let Axe carry that for me.” - Chad Brown